Old Age, Depression and Home Care

Time flies so fast that sometimes we get surprised by the time we realize we are already in our 40’s, 50’s or maybe even older. It seems as though aging is a thief that robs us of everything: physical, social, emotional and mental capacities. One day you have just graduated college, married, had kids and the next thing you know, you already have grandchildren. And as much as you don’t want to be called “Grandma” or “Grandpa”, you realize your body is not functioning as good as it was before.

You begin to feel that your body is creaky and weak and you realize you need help in almost everything you do. You retire from your job because driving makes your legs and back hurt. You lose your 20-20 vision and start losing your interest in reading as well because your head always aches after finishing a page. You have less interest in sex or even in having intimate moments with your spouse. You don’t see your friends that often and getting out of the house starts being an issue. Most of all, you get irritated and depressed because you are not happy with all these changes that you’re experiencing.

Yes, aging is hard to accept. In fact, we all need help for us to be able to cope with it especially when we’re already 70 years and onward. But before we get to that phase, remember that we have our seniors or elderly loved ones now who need our help. How can we, as family members, loved ones or friends, help them cope with aging?

1. Take care of your senior’s health.

Make sure that they keep themselves groomed and clean. Let them exercise regularly and maintain a well-balanced diet. Make them understand that eliminating bad habits or vices is beneficial for them. Encourage them to be checked by a physician not only when needed or when they get sick but as regularly as possible. Get into home care when it is required to have someone assist them everyday.

2. Help your folks maintain positive mental outlook.

The elderly most of the time get frustrated because there are already things that they can’t do alone. They feel less independent and more like helpless. Communicate and make them understand that old age is indeed a life stage and it is inevitable. Use power words and appreciate what they can do at the time by saying something like “Wonderful”, “Great”, or any positive word that you can use to boost their spirits up.

3. Do not forget spirituality.

Help your seniors appreciate life to avoid getting bitter. Join them if they want to go to church and worship. If you are busy, get a home care provider who can be a companion. Keeping one’s faith and holding on to spirituality makes existence happier and troubles a lot lighter.

4. Encourage social interactions.

Invite your seniors’ friends over or accompany them to their friend’s house. Having constant communication with friends or loved ones makes them smile and forget negative thoughts. So visit your elderly parents or relatives as often as you can. If you can do it regularly like every weekend or two, the better.

5. Emotional support is a must.

Depression is one of the main problems that entail aging. Seniors who are depressed are more vulnerable to sickness. And that doesn't only include physical illness but also mental and psychological deterioration. Let your elderly loved ones open up to you. Let them tell you what’s making them unhappy at times even if those are only petty little things. Most of all, let them see that you care and that you understand what they’re going through. If in any case you’re not living with your parents, hire someone who can accompany them everyday. Home care is one good option to ensure that your loved ones are going to be taken care of appropriately.

Depression is a prevalent problem that a majority of seniors face. It may be attributed to particular changes in the lives of the elderly that may be at some point, hard to accept. Depression may be caused by any health problem, specially a chronic illness that has caused severe pain to the affected person. It can also be brought about by emotional weakness or feelings of dependence or helplessness. This is due to the fact that most people who are in the latter years of their lives experience physical difficulties or limitations that make them frustrated.

Depression can also be triggered by feelings of loneliness especially when your aging parent has stopped seeing other people, friends or family members. It can also be due to anxiety over death or financial problems. And most of all, it can be caused by the loss of a loved one, spouse, friend or even pets. Depression is not a normal part of aging and is something that should be taken care of immediately. Some families even seek home care providers to assist their elderly loved ones everyday and ensure that all their needs are provided.

Depression can affect all aspects of our lives negatively. A depressed senior actually becomes more prone to sickness. Signs of depression may include difficulty sleeping, memory issues, irritability, loss of appetite or decrease in weight, being socially withdrawn, feelings of guilt and hopelessness, too much preoccupation and inability to function. As we can see, these signs may as well be symptoms brought about by other illnesses. That’s why in order to be sure, have your senior diagnosed by a psychiatrist or psychologist for you to be able to help him go through this phase.

For those seniors who are taken care of at home, there are a lot of ways that family members can help. Home care providers are also experts on how to handle and take care of people with senior depression. For loved ones, always offer emotional support. Treat your elderly not only as a patient but as someone who needs more compassion and understanding. Do not get mad or criticize the person when certain feelings are shown. They need all the love they can get especially from their own family members and friends.

Home care can help a lot in alleviating the negative feelings of depressed seniors. First of all, there will always be a companion who can be with the patient everyday. Being with someone, even if the carer is not family by blood, will lessen the patient’s loneliness. With this kind of set up, seniors will also be assisted on everyday chores and activities that can prevent them from getting frustrated had they done these things themselves and failed. Just remember to be very careful who to get as your seniors’ caregivers as we never want to risk their safety.

I am definitely no senior but I have taken care of one --- my great grandmother. I have seen her struggle for years. She couldn’t accept these changes in her body and didn't realize the need for help, which unfortunately, made things harder for her. The first few years of inability to walk as fast as before, to go up the staircase without using a cane or simply ride the public transport without her back aching that much, seemed a lifetime of frustration. She didn’t want to live with any of us and therefore stayed in her own house until she was 99 years old.

All we had to do was visit her everyday --- we had shifts, to be able to check on her. She had constant health problems that started with her pneumonia. We took her to the doctor as often as we wanted to but it really didn't seem enough for us. We wanted her to live with us so that we could check on her more, pay more attention to her and provide all that she needed right away. We wanted private home care for her but she didn't want to be a burden to us nor did she ever want to have a stranger care for her.

What I have realized from that experience is how advantageous it is for us to be able to accept that we need help. When we get old, we must understand that the very people who are going to be concerned are our own family and friends. They won’t let anything bad happen to us and they’ll want to support us in every step of the way. They’ll offer caregiving as a way to ensure that we are taken care of the right way especially during those times when they aren’t around or when they have personal matters to attend to.

The thing is, aging introduces a lot of anxieties and fears brought about by these sudden changes in our lives. We may get anxious of not being able to do things independently. We may invite feelings of helplessness. We may not be comfortable with home care especially if the caregiver is someone we don’t know. We may feel terrified of facing death. All these feelings are normal but we shouldn't let them linger.

Our families and friends are there to provide emotional and moral support. They can help make us strong and encourage us to live our lives as normal as we can. The only catch is that we also need to help ourselves. Acceptance is the first key to cope with aging and also the very stepping stone that will make us experience the benefits of home care. Our loved ones want us to be assisted not because they feel sorry for us but because they want us to be comfortable in life. Whether or not we enjoy our golden years depend on how we look at things. A simple change in attitude can make the rest of our lives brighter and happier.

The elderly usually becomes anxious of the concept of caregiving when the need for it arises. At the onset of that realization, a big percentage of seniors aren’t very receptive of the idea that someone else will be taking care of them. While some seniors may think that having a caregiver makes them look or feel helpless, we should, as family members, help them understand that it is actually beneficial for the care recipient and of course, the entire family.

Caregiving isn’t supposed to be a burdensome, melancholic, depressing or even a boring experience for both the care provider and the caree. There are a lot of things that a caregiver can do together with his or her patient to pass the time or to somehow enjoy each other’s company and lessen stress. Of course, the kinds of activities that should be carried out depend on the physical and mental condition of the patient. If the care recipient is still capable of walking or still shows good cognitive skills, these are just some of the activities that can be enjoyed by both caregiver and patient:

1. Walking

There’s a big chance that seniors will get tired after a few steps especially those whose bones are already brittle because of age. I’m not talking about walking as an exercise to be done strenuously. Just take a short walk outside the house, smell the flowers and love the sunshine. It will not only make you feel good but will also give you the chance to have a little chit chat.

2. Reading

Reading a favorite book for the caree is another enjoyable activity. In fact, not only children love having someone read books for them. Even our elderly do. The thing is, some seniors find reading difficult due to eye problems while some of course get headaches because of eye strain. Research also points out the benefits of having a good read before sleeping. So read to your elderly loved ones or let your caregiver do it. You’ll not only make them sleep soundly but also let them enjoy a good story.

3. Games

Seniors need mental stimulation as much as we also need them. Games will benefit those who have developed Alzheimer’s or those with memory loss. They stimulate our minds but of course remember not to over stress your loved one. You can try checkers or simple board games that require rolling a dice and counting moves. You can also work on a jigsaw puzzle together or answer crosswords. Games will not only make you have fun while passing the time but can also establish trust between the caregiver and care recipient.

4. Art Projects

Art has been a medium of self-expression since time immemorial. It shows the unsaid feelings and emotions of the artist and is also a good way for a caregiver to bond with the patient. Just plan on simple art projects and make sure that these are also accident-proof. You can try painting, coloring or whatever’s interesting enough for the patient.

5. Scrap Booking

Scrap booking may sound a bit feminine but actually, it’s a good way to reminisce and also a very creative activity. You can try to collate and put together old pictures. While doing so, engage the patient in a conversation that can stimulate his memory. It’s like a little trip down memory lane and can also be a long-term activity.